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Collecting Moments Weekly

The Midlife Moments

By September 12, 2018 No Comments

I’m in it.
I’m in the thick of life.

I’m so close to my 40’s. I’ve been married for over a decade. I’m raising kids. I’m making dinners. I’m working. I’m packing lunches. I’m folding laundry. I’m taking out garbage. I’m paying bills. I’m driving to soccer. I’m doing home reading every night. And I’m cleaning toilets … because boys.

I guess you could say I’m no longer in the “cute” stage of life – ya know, that stage where the hubs and I are young and wild and the kids are little and cute and everything about my life is Instagram worthy. Nope. Not in that stage anymore.

I’m in the “thick” stage.

  • The stage that’s waaaaaay beyond the honeymoon phase of marriage
  • The stage where my Saturdays are about chores, chores and more chores, because I’m trying to teach my kids responsibility
  • The stage where I buy more milk and cereal — because boys — than I do cute new tops for myself

This is my stage and I’m owning it.
I’m in it.
I’m in the thick.

But here’s what gets me: why is this stage bad?

  • Why does Instagram imply that every other stage is better, therefore this stage is not?
  • Why does “the thick of life” have to be considered depressing, or boring, or monotonous, or uninspiring?
  • Why does this stage have a label? What’s so crisis about it?

Here’s how I see it:

I’m closer to 40 then 30. Let’s raise a glass! With the rate of cancer growth, I’m pumped to be healthy and happily aging to live another day. A dear friend of mine died 6 weeks after her 30th birthday. She would have given anything to hit her 40’s.

I’ve been married for over a decade. In fact, I’m inches away from two decades. Someone give me an award. With the amount of times I thought about killing the man, but didn’t, I should be given a medal. We have parties for the day of the wedding, but what about parties for not getting divorced? Hear, hear!

And then there’s everything else in between.

Dinners. Check. I have food to eat.
Work. Check. I have a job.
Laundry. Check. Clothes to wear.
Bills. Check. Investments to care for.

These are things to celebrate not be down, depressed or discouraged about. Besides, cute is overrated and the “thick” of it should really be called the “purpose” of it.

Isn’t purpose the thing we’re all after?

I get to work because the purpose is to model hard work to my kids and raise them to be the next generation of responsible, committed and hard working citizens.

I get to do laundry because the purpose is to teach my family that joy can be found in the monotonous and that not everything in life is about the peaks and mountain top experiences.

I get to be married because the purpose is to continuously fight for a better version of myself so that together we get to create a masterpiece of art for the next 20, 30, 40, 50 and 60 years.

The “thick”, in my opinion, is simply a disguised stage of life that offers amazing opportunities to model steadfastness, commitment, discipline and dedication. It’s the stage where you discover what true purpose means and looks like. And it’s the stage where you really discover what you’re made of and what matters most to you.

So ya, I’m in it. I’m in the thick of it.

And you know what? I’m perfectly okay with it because in the thick of it, life is still great.

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With a million things to do and not enough hours in the day to get it done, it's easy to zone out and slip into autopilot in order to survive. But perhaps life is not about adding more things to your already lengthy list, but rather, about pausing in the midst of it all to consider if what you're doing is really important.