I’ve been overcome with emotion over the passing of my very dear friend Kristen Fersovitch. I found out on Friday afternoon at 12:36pm, and have been trance-like ever since. What was the last thing I said to her? Did I kiss her? Did I tell her how much I loved her? Did I tell her how much she inspired me?
I can sleep easy because I did. I said all of those things. I made a point of doing that ever since she told me her “1-2 years left to live” diagnosis way back in 2011.
As I was walking out of her bedroom last week I stopped in the doorway, turned around, looked at her beautiful face and said, “You know I love you, right? Do you realize how much you inspire me?” She winked and said, “Do you know how much I love YOU?” I walked back to her, kissed her on the head and said, “See you next Thursday.”
Today is Monday. Her funeral is Thursday. In a way I really am going to see her, it just isn’t in the way I thought.
Isn’t that just like life? It comes and goes faster than we have time to process, and before you know it, we’re looking back in hindsight thinking: Did I? Should I have? If only. I wonder. What if I could have?
Facebook has been a beautiful thing these past few days. My newsfeed has been flooded with poetic status’ about her. Profile pictures have been changed, old video’s of her singing have reappeared and I have soaked it all in. I read, listen and look at everything with a smile on my face knowing that I told her I loved her.
But it’s got me thinking… there are a lot of people in my life that I love, that inspire me, and who make me a better person. I mistakenly think I have a lifetime to tell them. How foolish of a thing for me to believe.
Does Ruth know how beautiful of a life story I think she has?
Does Shelby know how strong of a fighter I think she is?
Does Genelle know I admire her parental wisdom immensely?
Does Chris know how much I need him?
Does Amber know how courageous of a woman I think she is?
Does Pastor Bob know how much I respect him?
Does Chey know I consider her a miracle in my life?
Does Connie know how much I want to be like her?
And good heaven’s, do my parents know that I recognize how hard I must have been to raise? Lol…
I’ve come to realize that I spend way too much time thinking about what I don’t have, what area’s of my life I’m failing in, and what ugliness there is in the world, that I forget to acknowledge the good that IS around me; the beauty in the people that God has blessed my life with. And because it’s far more easy to update a status, send an email or tweet, I mistakenly think it’s the same as word of mouth, face-to-face, talking on the phone, or hugging.
But what if we looked at every person in our lives as having “1-2 years left to live?” How differently might we approach these relationships?
So what’s the take away you may ask? Well… how do I say this gently?… I’d like for you to stop reading this post and find three people in your life (or ten, or 15,000) that mean a lot to you, and who have made a difference in your life, and GO TELL THEM… like, NOW!
Who cares what I have to say. What do YOU have to say? Now go spread some love.
