I read a prayer on the weekend that shook me to my core.
Lord, as I embark on this journey, come and banish from my heart every last trace of self-reliance.
Whoa.Wait.What?
Self-reliance?
Every last trace?
Do I really mean these words?
Do I truly desire this for my life?
Am I honestly willing to surrender this completely?
Is surrendering self-reliance even possible?
Truth be told, I couldn’t finish reading the prayer for quite some time. Something in my heart could not pray the words as mere token spew.
As I held the book on my lap, quietly contemplating the words I had just spoken, I felt this gentle tug telling me that this is something I will never master. Choosing to surrender self-reliance will be an on-going journey… an on-going battle… an on-going adventure. But choosing to pray such words with the full awareness of how humanly impossible it is to live without Christ, well, this is exactly the kind of surrendering Christ desires.
So in all my flawed unworthiness, I continued.
And now, in all your flawed unworthiness, I invite you to join me.
Lord, as I embark on this journey, come and banish from my heart every last trace of self-reliance.
Captivate my mind with the truth that you are sufficient for my every need, great or small.
Transform me by increasing my confidence in you, in all your extravagant forgiveness and mercy.
Strengthen my trembling knees in the face of trouble.
Cause me to emerge from this prayer with a fresh vision of your glory, a new and lasting fearlessness, and a renewed devotion to your purpose, for Jesus’s sake.
Amen.
”Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” -2 Corinthians 3:4-6
